I guess I'm just really in the mood to write today.
The last few days have been more than a little stressful. I've almost survived my eighth year of STAR testing. (For those lucky few of you who dont know what this is, it is Standardized testing and Reporting. Basically, its a state test that gives the schools a ranking.) It's like being a teenager isn't enough, so they think adding a stupid, generalized, and LONG test that doesn't even count for a grade is a good idea.
Like being me isn't hard enough right now. I want, more than anything, to be on my own now. To leave my house and become an adult. Why wish away my teen years? Because I'm the good kid. I don't do anything bad. I don't do what everyone else is doing. If this is the way they want people to be, why is it so hard? No, not that resisting temptation and all that jazz is hard. But being one of the kids who is just naturally expected to do well or to never make mistakes is hard.
And okay, here is something extremely personal that you can take for what its worth. I want to change. To be better. To be someone other than who I am right now. It's pathetic really, but it's how I feel and I know I'm not the only one who feels like this. Don't you ever see someone and wonder what it would be like to live their life? I know I do.
Everyone has always told me that happiness is a state of mind. And there are certain people who make me happy without even trying. Thanks. :)
Just FYI to all of you who are reading this: I'm not always this over dramatic. I'm just trying to figure my life out.
Yesterday my mom asked me a question. "Sam, how can you let someone else know the real you if you're questioning who you really are?"
This is what I know about the real me:
-I cry a lot, just to relieve stress and I'm not embarassed by that.
-I'm a witty person, but comedy isn't my only release.
-I like to write.
-I love with all of my heart and hate letting people know when my heart has been broken.
-I'm extremely caring.
-I'm passionate
-I'm stubborn.
there's more that I eally don't want to write.
I've become someone I'm not. But how do I stop being that person? I really hate her.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
30 Facts.
I saw this in a magazine today, and thought "What the hell!"
These are thirty things that I'd bet you didn't know about me!
1. I have a stepdad and I have never met his kids, Dylan and Ella, who are both in their mid to late twenties
2. I really love thinking in general. I love being able to contemplate the universe.
3. I'm religious in a way that I believe in and love God, but choose not to conform to any certain religion. (But I was baptized Catholic)
4. I'm a lot less liberal than people think, but I'm not conservative.
5. I'm writing a novel!
6. I want to adopt children from Japan or China someday. And that's not me following the celebrity adoption trend, I simply have a passion for helping kids.
7. I'm totally straight edge, but you probably wouldn't know it if you put my ipod on shuffle. :)
8. Most of the people I call my 'extended family' aren't really related to me! All of my dad's best friends and their wives are my aunts and uncles and their kids are my cousins.
9. I'm Irish, French, British and very Portugese, but no one would guess that.
10. I love teachers who challenge me on not only an educational level, but a personal level. (Mrs. Audino and Ms. Simpson)
11. I LOATHE anything related to math.
12. I'm getting a tattoo when I turn eighteen. It's going to say "je t'aime encore" with a heart at the end. (It means I Still Love You in french and its for my grandmother who passed away a few years ago. She was my best friend.)
13. I'd go to school in sweats everyday if I had a choice.
14. I love the Beach Boys. They're my favorite band of all time.
15. I love reading. Period.
16. I'm a supporter of gay marrige.
17. Next school year, I am the Associated Student Body Secretary.
18. I am not a follower. I'm the furthest thing from it, actually.
19. I stand up for my friends and I think that is one of my most admired qualities.
20. I second guess everything I do.
21. I clean my room every single morning before school. I can't focus in clutter.
22. I hate driving.
23. I cuss, which is really unattractive.
24. I think I'm too much of a good girl and am still waiting for the day where that will pay off.
25. I'm secretly jealous about practically everything.
26. I have crushes on people you probably wouldn't expect.
27. I like dating older guys.
29. I don't want to go to a junior college. I'm afraid my family would be disappointed.
30. I would give a lot to go back to last year and change the way things turned out.
These are thirty things that I'd bet you didn't know about me!
1. I have a stepdad and I have never met his kids, Dylan and Ella, who are both in their mid to late twenties
2. I really love thinking in general. I love being able to contemplate the universe.
3. I'm religious in a way that I believe in and love God, but choose not to conform to any certain religion. (But I was baptized Catholic)
4. I'm a lot less liberal than people think, but I'm not conservative.
5. I'm writing a novel!
6. I want to adopt children from Japan or China someday. And that's not me following the celebrity adoption trend, I simply have a passion for helping kids.
7. I'm totally straight edge, but you probably wouldn't know it if you put my ipod on shuffle. :)
8. Most of the people I call my 'extended family' aren't really related to me! All of my dad's best friends and their wives are my aunts and uncles and their kids are my cousins.
9. I'm Irish, French, British and very Portugese, but no one would guess that.
10. I love teachers who challenge me on not only an educational level, but a personal level. (Mrs. Audino and Ms. Simpson)
11. I LOATHE anything related to math.
12. I'm getting a tattoo when I turn eighteen. It's going to say "je t'aime encore" with a heart at the end. (It means I Still Love You in french and its for my grandmother who passed away a few years ago. She was my best friend.)
13. I'd go to school in sweats everyday if I had a choice.
14. I love the Beach Boys. They're my favorite band of all time.
15. I love reading. Period.
16. I'm a supporter of gay marrige.
17. Next school year, I am the Associated Student Body Secretary.
18. I am not a follower. I'm the furthest thing from it, actually.
19. I stand up for my friends and I think that is one of my most admired qualities.
20. I second guess everything I do.
21. I clean my room every single morning before school. I can't focus in clutter.
22. I hate driving.
23. I cuss, which is really unattractive.
24. I think I'm too much of a good girl and am still waiting for the day where that will pay off.
25. I'm secretly jealous about practically everything.
26. I have crushes on people you probably wouldn't expect.
27. I like dating older guys.
29. I don't want to go to a junior college. I'm afraid my family would be disappointed.
30. I would give a lot to go back to last year and change the way things turned out.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
A question.
For all of you out there with friends. Yes, that is a very general description. But I've come to find in the last few days that being 'A friend' and 'The friend' are two different things.
'A Friend' tries really hard to be friends with someone, but doesn't know exactly what the other person wants out of the friendship. Is it a trusted ally? A confidant? Or even, God forbid, a garbage can?
'The Friend' doesn't exist. 'The Friend' is a person everyone, or mostly everyone (which is why this blog is directed toward those with friends, no offense to anyone) has created in their mind. Want to hear mine? Too bad, I'm telling you anyway.
My ideal friend:
-Wants to be with me all the time
-Cares about practicality
-Laughs at my jokes
-Makes his/her own jokes
-Lets me cry to them
-Isn't afraid to cry to me
I have never met someone with all of these qualities, especially in a friendship. So why is it that we, as friends, are held to these high, unfair standards? Why can't be be accepted for who we are? Or even better, why can't we accept those who aren't 'The Friend' for who they are an love 'em anyway?
I hate friend trouble. Let me know if you have an generic advice. :)
Goodnight.
'A Friend' tries really hard to be friends with someone, but doesn't know exactly what the other person wants out of the friendship. Is it a trusted ally? A confidant? Or even, God forbid, a garbage can?
'The Friend' doesn't exist. 'The Friend' is a person everyone, or mostly everyone (which is why this blog is directed toward those with friends, no offense to anyone) has created in their mind. Want to hear mine? Too bad, I'm telling you anyway.
My ideal friend:
-Wants to be with me all the time
-Cares about practicality
-Laughs at my jokes
-Makes his/her own jokes
-Lets me cry to them
-Isn't afraid to cry to me
I have never met someone with all of these qualities, especially in a friendship. So why is it that we, as friends, are held to these high, unfair standards? Why can't be be accepted for who we are? Or even better, why can't we accept those who aren't 'The Friend' for who they are an love 'em anyway?
I hate friend trouble. Let me know if you have an generic advice. :)
Goodnight.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sam's Blogging Again?
So I have decided to start yet another blog. I guess it's only logical. I have one of the most hectic, crazy, hilarious, and downright weird life out of anyone I know. So I guess writing about it is only fair!
Well, he goes nothing. My life. In words. I'll try to update as much as I possibly can.
4/27/09-
I started this marvelous monday (not!) out by getting up at six a.m. for zero period! Woohoo! I picked Katie up at six forty for our monday morning coffee treat. We got to school at seven, ready for class at seven ten. During zero period, my fellow sophomore student government leaders and I started planning junior prom, which is fun!
Possible Themes:
-Arabian Nights
-Paris
-Vegas Strip
-A Night on the Town (NYC)
What's your favorite?
Got any suggestions?
After zero period leadership, I have beginning dance with most of my best friends! Lindsay, Alexa, Tori and Ali! There is always something insane happening in that small group of people. Today, we put the finishing touches on our dance to "It's Raining Men" by The Weather Girls! Which is really cool, I mean that we finished it, because honestly, the dance sucks. I love my dance teacher, don't get me wrong. But in Lindsay's words "Her body may not need all of the space in front of the mirrors, but her ego sure does!" So true.
After dance I have world history with one of my favorite teachers, Ms. Goliti. She's so cool and fun and her and I always have really fun conversations. Sometimes, we even talk about politics. (Shhh! Don't tell. Teachers can't do that stuff!) But today was not a funny day in her class. Today, we began watching "Hotel Rwanda" with Don Cheadle. I've heard it's a tear jerker.
Third period is math. We took three standardized testing review group quizzes, and Michael Lopes, the genius I sit next to in this class, spent the majority of the period buzzzing through problems and laughing at me. :(
Fourth period sucks, plain and simple. So really, there's nothing I need to say about Geology. Go look at a rock.
Fifth is french, which also sucks. Katie and I always crack each other up in this class. "Je vais aller de cremerie, je achete du lait! Tu vas a la cremerie aussi! Now... how about that...?"
Sixth period Advanced English is where all of the fun really happens! You'd have to be there, that's all I have to say!
After school I did the basics! Worked on homework and a book report, ate dinner, cleaned my room. But the best part of today was probably the A.A. meeting I went to with my family.
If you don't know what A.A. is, go look it up. Basically, the organization saved both my mother and my stepdad's lives. Both struggled with addiction. And today, my stepdad Mark was the chair of the meeting, and it was extremely emotional. His shared his story and I cried. If anyone knows someone struggling with addiction, get them help!
thanks for reading!
more coming later on this week!
Well, he goes nothing. My life. In words. I'll try to update as much as I possibly can.
4/27/09-
I started this marvelous monday (not!) out by getting up at six a.m. for zero period! Woohoo! I picked Katie up at six forty for our monday morning coffee treat. We got to school at seven, ready for class at seven ten. During zero period, my fellow sophomore student government leaders and I started planning junior prom, which is fun!
Possible Themes:
-Arabian Nights
-Paris
-Vegas Strip
-A Night on the Town (NYC)
What's your favorite?
Got any suggestions?
After zero period leadership, I have beginning dance with most of my best friends! Lindsay, Alexa, Tori and Ali! There is always something insane happening in that small group of people. Today, we put the finishing touches on our dance to "It's Raining Men" by The Weather Girls! Which is really cool, I mean that we finished it, because honestly, the dance sucks. I love my dance teacher, don't get me wrong. But in Lindsay's words "Her body may not need all of the space in front of the mirrors, but her ego sure does!" So true.
After dance I have world history with one of my favorite teachers, Ms. Goliti. She's so cool and fun and her and I always have really fun conversations. Sometimes, we even talk about politics. (Shhh! Don't tell. Teachers can't do that stuff!) But today was not a funny day in her class. Today, we began watching "Hotel Rwanda" with Don Cheadle. I've heard it's a tear jerker.
Third period is math. We took three standardized testing review group quizzes, and Michael Lopes, the genius I sit next to in this class, spent the majority of the period buzzzing through problems and laughing at me. :(
Fourth period sucks, plain and simple. So really, there's nothing I need to say about Geology. Go look at a rock.
Fifth is french, which also sucks. Katie and I always crack each other up in this class. "Je vais aller de cremerie, je achete du lait! Tu vas a la cremerie aussi! Now... how about that...?"
Sixth period Advanced English is where all of the fun really happens! You'd have to be there, that's all I have to say!
After school I did the basics! Worked on homework and a book report, ate dinner, cleaned my room. But the best part of today was probably the A.A. meeting I went to with my family.
If you don't know what A.A. is, go look it up. Basically, the organization saved both my mother and my stepdad's lives. Both struggled with addiction. And today, my stepdad Mark was the chair of the meeting, and it was extremely emotional. His shared his story and I cried. If anyone knows someone struggling with addiction, get them help!
thanks for reading!
more coming later on this week!
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