Something new;.

I've decided to star doing something kind of fun and entertaining, at leastg for me, haha! So, every post from now on is going to have a couple of random words that I'm going to find. What I'll do is I will grrab the nearest book to me, flip it open, find a word that I don't know, and define it on here!

Souind fun? It's never boring to increase your vocabulary!

Our words for today come from my history text, Prentice Hall- World History!

Entente: a nonbinding agreement to follow common policies.

Surrealism: a movement that attempted to portray the workings of the unconcious mind.

Prom.

I know it's like a year away, but I'm already stressing. This is what ASB does to people. Drives them insane. Sometimes, I hate knowing all of the details.

with age comes conviction.

The group! Courtney, Kylie, Me, Alex, Mia and Bobbi!

She is 99 years old!

This is Eva holding Kylie's hand. She has alzheimers and talks in an etremely low voice. We'd worked with her last year. She was so sweet and wanted to leave with us.

This is Donna, one of the most functioning women we talked to, with Mia. She was a riot!

This is Alex with Mary, who was an actress and model in her time. She posed for every picture.




This is Courtney with one of the women who didn't speak very well. She was adorable, though. And she never left her hat. She even put it on after she'd had her hair done.

I have come to a realization. After our trip to the nursing home friday, I figured out why this year had gone so much smoother and easier.

When you work face to face with these men and women, you realize that these people have been on this planet so much longer than you have. Not only are they passionate about the few things they can still do, but many of them, even through alzheimers and other diseases, aren't afraid to speak up for themselves and what they believe in. I'd never thought about that before.

Hard Experiences.

As you may or may not know, I am extremely involved in my school's ASB program. Last year, my friends Mia, Bobbi, Alex and I organized a little community sevice project that changed my outlook on life. Last mother's day, we visited a nursing home. This nursing home is actually similar to a hospital. You know, one of those places that you walk in and just feel the sadness overwhelm you.

We were able to get mny volunteer stylist to style the women's hair. We painted their nails. Alex played piano. The look in some of the women's eyes will stay with me forever. It was an amazing and life altering experience. This year, we have planned in again.

With the news spreading about my project, we needed to make sure we got more communtity and school involvment. We have added three new members to our team this year, freshmen Kylie, Courtney and Allison. We have also been able to get the community involved by going to local buisinesses and asking for donations of store credit, flowers, balloons, pots or soil. The reaction we recieved gave me the chills. These people were so excited that teenagers cared this much.

I will never forget one woman who had her hair done last year. I remember when I saw her I knew she wss very old and very sick. I felt ters build up just holding a conversation. She knows more about the world than I do and probably ever will. When she'd had her hair done, she began to cry hysterically and tell us she didn't like it. I remember Bobbi just sobbed watching. It wasn't until a few minutes later after the woman was calm and brought back to her room that a nurse approached Bobbi, Mia and myself. She told us that the woman wasn't crying because she didn't like her hair, but she was crying because of the fact that her own children would never do such a thing for her.

This woman was old and sick but she was one of the most talkative of the group. I went to her room with my friend Bobbi and she appologized and repeated the story about her son and two daughters. The only thing I could tell her was that we would visit her again. She just smiled and Bobbi gave her a hug. I don't think either of us will ever forget that moment. Bobbi went back to visit her twice, the first time the woman remembered Bobbi from the picture we'd taken, printed and framed for her that day we'd visited. The second time, Bobbi was informed of the woman's passing. Bobbi didn't cry this time, but she told me that she hoped her children had visited her again.

Another woman I remember was about 87. She was a very small, American Indian woman and she didn't speak much english. She was adorable and completely fragile. When one of the stylists, Margaret had finished styling her hair, the woman talked to her nurse and her nurse told us that she was very grateful. I smiled at her and offered to paint her nails. She agreed and simply said "Red. Red is sassy" in a thick accent. I was informed of her passing when I went to Pacific Hills Manor (the home) to plan this year's event.

This year, when we go back, I am going to make sure to make these women happy. Some of them have sad stories. Some are just older. I really appreciate the time I get to spend with everyone of them and am excited for Friday morning.

Love and Other Disasters.

I guess in writing this blog, I'd hope that someday, somethings about my life will be clear to me.

Now here's the REAL dreaded love blog, kay?

My closest brush with love was probably nothing more than a mutual infatuation. Matt and I dated last year for about four months. Thinking back, I probably wouldn't have acted the way I did. I was a completely different person then.

Basically, Matt and I met at school but completely hit it off on a trip to Great America with a group of mutual friends. The only thing I really remember about him that day was the fact that he was really the first person who had really flirted with me. He'd smile at me like I was important. I liked him immediately.

Of course, I had no idea that he liked me. I remember he had baseball practice that day and he and a few of our friends were on his team. We were in line for the Grizzly. I think I was with my friend Luz, and I remember her telling me how she knew that I wouldn't want to ride with boys that I didn't know. She wasn't the sharpest tack in the box.

So Matt and Jackson, his best friend at the time who was dating Luz, sat behind us. When we were walking back to our friends after the ride, Matt asked me for my number. I think he said it was just in case he needed English homework.

Anyway, Matt and I were sorta inseparable after that. We hung out on the weekends, I asked him to Sadies, and he finally asked me out. It was fun while it lasted, but Matt wasn't what I wanted. He was a really inexperienced with relationships, and I wasn't. Not really. Things ended fairly badly. I broke up with him. And we didn't talk until he dated my best friend.

This was a longs story, but when you think about past relationships and crushes, you notice how much you've matured and changed. Not to say Matt hasn't, because he's still a majorly cool guy but he's so much more mature now. We sit next to each other in English this year. When I think about that 'relationship' and how much I learned, I know that I want to find someone. I don't need to 'find love' like all of these dramatic reality shows, but I wouldn't mind finding someone to like.

Love is a touchy subject for me. I'm still not sure if I fully believe in it. I don't know anyone who is head over heels in love with someone. My parents are divorced. I mean, I know it exists, but how can I expect myself to believe in something I've never seen.

Love to me is honestly one of the few things I want to be a fairytale. Maybe not the whole princess/prince thing, but I just want someone who likes me through every flaw. Like in 'Beauty and the Beast' or 'Snow White' or 'Cinderella'.


I don't want any judgements on this post. Sure, comment it with your beliefs but don't insult me or mine.

Thanks.

When you looked me in the eye,

were you telling the truth about the way you feel, the way you feel, tonight.

Please don't leave me here, broken and begging for more, 'cause I can't take this tonight.

Do your hands shake like mine? Does your heart echo with vacant beats?

--"Chapstick" by Sleepwell

These guys live in my community. Look 'em up. Their lyrics are amazing.

Just thought I'd give you those to ponder. What do you take from those lyrics? Do they relate to anything you've experienced.

Okay, y'all. It's time for the dreaded love blog.

I've been thinking about it lately. Love and other disasters. I'm a sophomore in high school. I wouldn't considder myself ready for such a commitment.

But I have to wonder, what would I do if love were right in front of my face?

No clue.

More soon. Sorry, Mom's in Hawaii and I'm going back and forth between houses. This means that I may not have all that much time to blog this week. I'll try my best.

-Sam

Bar Stools and Bad Moods.

I know, the title makes me sound like an alcholic. But I spent this weekend thinking deeply about my relationships with those around me. I did most of this thinking, actually, on a bar stool in Auburn, California at one of the nicest homes I have seen in my entire life.

I began this thought process by thinking of by relationship with my best friend, Lindsay. Lindsay hasn't talked to me for a week for reasons unknown. When I began to blame Lindsay for this, for me not knowing what is wrong with her, I realized, Lindsay needs a friend just as much as I do. She can't only be the shoulder I cry on. I need to let her lay her thoughts and tears down sometimes too.

Now don't get me wrong, I am a good friend. I feel I am especially good friend to Lindsay, whom I immediately bonded with when we met. But sometimes I feel lost in my friendships. There needs to be a balance and I can never seem to find the equal ground.

More tommorow.
night.