I guess in writing this blog, I'd hope that someday, somethings about my life will be clear to me.
Now here's the REAL dreaded love blog, kay?
My closest brush with love was probably nothing more than a mutual infatuation. Matt and I dated last year for about four months. Thinking back, I probably wouldn't have acted the way I did. I was a completely different person then.
Basically, Matt and I met at school but completely hit it off on a trip to Great America with a group of mutual friends. The only thing I really remember about him that day was the fact that he was really the first person who had really flirted with me. He'd smile at me like I was important. I liked him immediately.
Of course, I had no idea that he liked me. I remember he had baseball practice that day and he and a few of our friends were on his team. We were in line for the Grizzly. I think I was with my friend Luz, and I remember her telling me how she knew that I wouldn't want to ride with boys that I didn't know. She wasn't the sharpest tack in the box.
So Matt and Jackson, his best friend at the time who was dating Luz, sat behind us. When we were walking back to our friends after the ride, Matt asked me for my number. I think he said it was just in case he needed English homework.
Anyway, Matt and I were sorta inseparable after that. We hung out on the weekends, I asked him to Sadies, and he finally asked me out. It was fun while it lasted, but Matt wasn't what I wanted. He was a really inexperienced with relationships, and I wasn't. Not really. Things ended fairly badly. I broke up with him. And we didn't talk until he dated my best friend.
This was a longs story, but when you think about past relationships and crushes, you notice how much you've matured and changed. Not to say Matt hasn't, because he's still a majorly cool guy but he's so much more mature now. We sit next to each other in English this year. When I think about that 'relationship' and how much I learned, I know that I want to find someone. I don't need to 'find love' like all of these dramatic reality shows, but I wouldn't mind finding someone to like.
Love is a touchy subject for me. I'm still not sure if I fully believe in it. I don't know anyone who is head over heels in love with someone. My parents are divorced. I mean, I know it exists, but how can I expect myself to believe in something I've never seen.
Love to me is honestly one of the few things I want to be a fairytale. Maybe not the whole princess/prince thing, but I just want someone who likes me through every flaw. Like in 'Beauty and the Beast' or 'Snow White' or 'Cinderella'.
I don't want any judgements on this post. Sure, comment it with your beliefs but don't insult me or mine.
Thanks.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
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Sam, you are very brave!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I could ever blog about how I feel about love, because everyone would hate it. My feelings are a strange mix of new and old. I think that love can't be forced, it just happens, but at the same time, I only want to fall in love once (I know how realistic that sounds). I think once two people fall in love, no one should stop them from being married, and being happy. I guess love is complicated, and I'm not sure what I think about it.
Forgot to mention, I love the reference in the name of the blog.
Thanks for another good post!
Have you seen that movie? It's definetly one of my favorites.
ReplyDeletewhy am I brave?
deathly honest, maybe?
who else is gonna read this...?
it's sorta like a diary. but it helps that other people read it.